Life on the surface radiated success and envy, but harbored deep and painful secrets, for Christy Freddo. From the glitz of corporate travel to the shadows of domestic abuse and battling addiction, Christy’s journey is one of awakening, resilience, and transformation. She emphasizes the importance of authenticity and the belief that it’s never too late to make a change. Christy hopes her candid story inspires others to confront their own battles, seek help, and embark on their path to self-discovery. Join Search and Replace to explore one woman’s triumph from the depths of despair to the pinnacle of renewed life.
A note of caution: This episode contains descriptions of domestic violence that may be disturbing to some listeners. For assistance, please reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE, or visit on the web at thehotline.org.
More about today’s guest:
- Get to know Christy Freddo at bestlifemindset.com and on her business site facelogicdallas.com.
- Connect with Christy via her LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram.
Explore these related stories:
- You can download a free “Reinvention Roadmap” guided workbook, at: Bestlifemindset.com.
- Sirin Kale’s tips for making life-changing decisions and how to stick to it.
- Ready to make changes in your life on your terms? Maria Shriver offers insights on how to begin.
- The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service.
[00:00:00] Announcer: Support for the following podcast is provided by the user experience specialists at Johns and Taylor. More information follows this episode.
[00:00:08] Joe Taylor Jr.: This episode contains descriptions of domestic violence that some listeners may find disturbing. If you or if someone you care about is in danger, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. That’s 1-800-799-7233. Or, visit on the web at thehotline.org.
[00:00:36] What if you’re the life of the party, and you realize that you hate the party?
[00:00:42] I’m Joe Taylor Jr. This is Search and Replace.
[00:00:48] Everyone Christy Freddo knew seemed to envy her life, especially the lifestyle it afforded her.
[00:00:56] Christy Freddo: I was married for over a decade to a guy that everybody thought was the life of the party and everyone loved. I had a small child. I was working in Corporate America in a very glamorous, high paying job that traveled internationally all the time to really cool places. Got to go to six out of seven continents before I was 36. Was, you know, having the time of my life in some respects, but not seeing my kiddo at all. And was drinking a lot. My life looked amazing on paper. People thought my life was the greatest thing imaginable. And I was dying inside. I was really miserable.
[00:01:36] Joe Taylor Jr.: Feeling miserable on the inside soon escalated to questioning everything going on in Christy’s outside world.
[00:01:44] Christy Freddo: I got to a place where I was just to the point of, I can’t do this anymore. And I decided first that I would leave my job. That was the first breaking point. I think I was in denial about my personal issues, so I was blaming my job for all of my unhappiness.
[00:02:02] So that was the first thing to go. There was no plan because I didn’t even realize, or want to admit, that my personal life was a disaster. After I left my job, after a couple months, I realized I’m still miserable.
[00:02:15] And then had a wake up call, literally, one night where my husband was hitting me and saying terrible things to me and telling me he was going to kill me. And I started reaching on the nightstand for my phone. And he grabbed my hand and said, Is that what you’re going to do? You’re going to call the police and have your child’s father hauled away? Is that the kind of mom you are? It was terrifying. And I realized in that moment that if my child came in, I couldn’t protect her and I didn’t know what would happen.
[00:02:49] So the next day I woke up and immediately went to the marriage counselor’s office and made a plan with her about how to get out of this marriage in a safe way, and that was the second step in my journey.
[00:03:02] Joe Taylor Jr.: Christy’s reckoning led her to an epiphany.
[00:03:05] Christy Freddo: I realized I am a single parent, my child is going through parents divorcing and a lot of change and I am not present. I am not the best mom I can be.
[00:03:15] I also got sober because I realized I wasn’t just the most fun person at the party, I was really an alcoholic. And so then I decided to get checked into an intensive outpatient treatment for eight weeks and get that taken care of and out of the way so that I could be the mom that she really deserved.
[00:03:35] One of the hardest parts was that I was doing it all alone. I was afraid to tell anybody about any of it. I felt a lot of shame and a lot of guilt for not getting my kiddo out of that situation sooner. There’s a lot of stigma involved with both being in an abusive relationship and with alcoholism and addiction. And I did not want to tell anyone that was what was going on.
[00:03:58] Joe Taylor Jr.: Bit by bit, Christy replaced the habits from her old life with new routines and explorations.
[00:04:05] Christy Freddo: Within two years time, I had made all of the other changes and I started to rebuild my life, and started stumbling upon different strategies that would help me learn how to rebuild my life.
[00:04:17] So I started meditating. I started using manifestation techniques. I started using positive affirmations to rebuild my self-esteem. I started really
exploring who am I, who I was authentically; who I was, what I believed in, what my core values were. And thinking about what would it look like if I aligned my new life with those core values, if I could really be my authentic self, how amazing would that be after years of pretending?
[00:04:42] And so, I pretty much cut ties with most of the people that I knew at that time to get just a really fresh start. Made new friends, ended up moving cities, met a very wonderful man who I later married and blended a family with. Bought a business that allowed me to have flexibility and be able to spend all the time that I wanted to with my kiddo.
[00:05:06] It has been such an amazing time, but I didn’t tell anybody about what I went through. I didn’t tell anyone about my true journey to get here.
[00:05:13] Part of why I’ve decided to tell this story now, because for 10 years, I was living my best life in many ways, but I was not living a life in accordance with my authentic self because I was hiding something. And you’re only as sick as your secrets.
[00:05:26] I want to be able to help people and be some small part of the movement I feel like is happening now with mental health becoming something that does not have as big of a stigma. Something where people can get help which would really change the world and I hope that that truth helps set other people free.
[00:05:43] Joe Taylor Jr.: Christy reminds us that it’s taken twelve years for her to achieve the security and the stability of her new life. And she has advice if you think you’d never pull off the same kind of massive change.
[00:05:55] Christy Freddo: First of all, it’s never too late to make the change. Don’t double down just because you’ve been doing something for a long time. You can get help. You can make a change, no matter what the issue is.
[00:06:06] Most people’s issues probably aren’t as extreme as mine. Things are making them unhappy but, no matter what the case is, there is a way, there is support out there. If you can just take the first step, which is to make that change, you will be led. You will be led and you will find a way. There are so many different ways and strategies and support out there.
[00:06:28] Everyone can get sober, can get out of an abusive relationship. It’s not easy, but it’s possible. It’s not insurmountable. You just have to commit to it and move forward every single day. And you don’t have to know exactly where you’re going in the beginning, and you don’t have to know exactly how you’re going to do it in the beginning. Just get moving.
[00:06:48] Joe Taylor Jr.: That’s author and certified coach Christy Freddo. We’ve got links to Christy’s work in our show notes and on our website at searchandreplace.show.
[00:06:59] Today’s episode was produced by Nicole Hubbard with help from the entire Podcast Taxi team. I’m Joe Taylor Jr.
[00:07:05] Announcer: This has been a Podcast Taxi radio production.
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